An open letter to Tina Fey

Dear Tina Fey,

I love you as much as any other male with an IQ over 12 does, so it pains me to write this letter. Can you keep your sex starved, b00b loving, nerdo fans from my site? Many months ago, I wrote an article lamenting the fact that you were leaving Saturday Night Live. Over a year later my site is dominated by fans searching for articles on your cunning and intelligence. How can I tell? By reading my search statistics where today the top terms were as follows:

  1. Tina Fey
  2. Tina pic
  3. jcpenney commercial song (just to show this is accurate)
  4. Tina Fey Bust

At first I was thrilled to have so much traffic (so much traffic for me is 30 or so people a day – a burden I bear). Today for instance your page was the most popular page on my site as it has been for well over a month. Yes I know you’re hot, but what about my intelligent article on Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton? Or my article on modern music choices? It’s as if you aren’t satisfied to be an all knowing all powerful, female media mogul/actress/sexpot/genius; no, you must have my website too! Please allow me to have my forum – I don’t have movies and TV shows like you do. I don’t grace the covers of magazines. This is my voice.

I hope you can see my point of view and simply back off.

Yours truly.

Spencer

BTW – 30 Rock appears on Thursdays @ 8:30 on NBC


30 Rock - 30 Rock, Season 1

  • http://www.thewebpen.net/blog Howard

    Right! Why can’t she stalk you instead, you know?

  • Spencer

    Exactly!

    Hey, what do you mean instead? ;)

  • Pingback: arubberdoor | Half as much Tina Fey

  • http://www.cynicsgirl.blogspot.com/ Cyn

    Hmmm, now I know how to get more traffic. I do love 30 Rock anyway, so it wouldn’t be completely gratuitous if I occasionally mentioned Tina’s cleavage, right?

    Seems most people heading to my blog are looking for information about the ester of wood rosin (scary soda ingredient that I blogged about a year or so ago.) Slightly less glamorous than Tina Fey. People also seem to end up on my blog when searching for information on Michael Penn (which is weird, because you know I never write anything about him…)

  • Lynn

    Just thought I’d surprise you that your cat Leo is what brought me to your blog. I’m going through the experience now with my cat Buddha and I’d just like to let you know that you helped me calm down a bit and that I think your writing voice and sense of humor is spot-on. :)

  • http://www.cynicsgirl.blogspot.com/ Cyn

    About 7 hours later — #1 search on my blog (at 14.81%) is “boobs.” (Surprise!) and #2 is “masquerade adventures” (11.11%).

    Tied for #3 position (at 7.41%) are “do men like vpl” (another of my research studies — answer: yes/don’t care) & “homemade mezzo mix” (which as far as I know has nothing at all to do with anything in my blog.)

    Only one hit for “Tina Fey” though.

    Oh, btw, I do enjoy all your posts, but Tina and non-Tina related! And I bet the Tina nerdo-fans do too, no matter how they arrive here.

  • http://www.cynicsgirl.blogspot.com/ Cyn

    Oh, I meant “both” Tina & non-Tina…not “but” in that last paragraph. My youngest was here complaining at me as I wrote. As she is right now. Bye!

  • http://www.cynicsgirl.blogspot.com/ Cyn

    Honestly, I swear this is my last comment on this topic…but I had to add this keyword search that somehow lead someone to my blog today:

    “how to knit your own bondage gear”

    Kinky AND crafty. Nifty combination.

  • Spencer

    Well today’s is the best – I got someone coming to the site for “Tina Fey” Wrestle

    Really not sure what could have inspired that search but my site comes up in the top 10 of course!?!