A Test for the Grammatically Inclined

Sorry about the dearth in posts. Vacation is upcoming, and I’ve been hela-busy at work leading up to it. (Isn’t that always the case? I’ve always said – vacation is work deferred, not work avoided.)

Anyway – we found the following on our door today. I’m wondering the first line is a statement about us? Hope not.

We’ve realized that Conshohocken is not full of great grammatical stars. I like that they got it wrong, not once, but twice.

Trapped in the bathroom

I can only wait for R. Kelly to get a hold of this story. I challenge someone to comment with a crazier story than this.

A 35 year-old Wichita, Kansas woman had to pried off of her toilet after spending two years in the bathroom. Here’s the AP story:


The Associated Press

WICHITA, Kan. – A 35-year-old woman who sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time he called police had a phobia about leaving the bathroom, the boyfriend said.

“She is an adult; she made her own decision,” said her boyfriend, Kory McFarren. “I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it.”

The case drew nationwide attention after Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat in the two years she apparently was in the bathroom.

“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

McFarren, 36, said he can’t be certain how long Pam Babcock stayed in the bathroom because “time just went by so quick I can’t pinpoint how long.” He said beatings she received in her childhood caused her phobia.

“It just kind of happened one day; she went in and had been in there a little while, the next time it was a little longer. Then she got it in her head she was going to stay , like it was a safe place for her,” McFarren said.

But McFarren said she moved around in the bathroom during that time, bathed and changed into the clothes he brought her. He brought food and water to her. They had conversations and had an otherwise normal relationship , except it all happened in the bathroom.

McFarren said he finally called police Feb. 27 after he became worried because Babcock was acting groggy , like she didn’t know what was going on, except she was awake.

What emergency responders found when they went into bathroom has left residents of this small western Kansas town buzzing, and law enforcement officials incredulous.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to mid-thigh. She was “somewhat disoriented,” and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body,” Whipple said. “It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”

She initially refused emergency medical services, but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

“She said that she didn’t need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave,” he said.

Whipple said the county attorney will determine whether any charges should be filed against McFarren.

McFarren, who works at an antique store, said he has been taking care of Babcock for the 16 years they have lived together. He insisted that he tried to coax her out of the bathroom every day.

“And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'” Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

She was reported in fair condition Wednesday at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

Babcock has an infection in her legs that has damaged her nerves, and there is a possibility she may wind up in a wheelchair, McFarren said.

James Ellis, a neighbor, said he had known the woman since she was a child, but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

“I don’t think anybody can make any sense out of it,” Ellis said.

Babcock had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up, he said.

“It really doesn’t surprise me,” Ellis said. “What surprises me is somebody wasn’t called in a bit earlier.”

They had to pry the seat off of her ass!

I love that they otherwise had a normal relationship. Seriously – your girlfriend has been locked in the closet for 2 years, seems like nothing else matters after that. She could be Suzy fucking Homemaker and all that matter is that you have to ask her to scootch over to take a leak.

I also have to note that these two weren’t married. What the hell? I’m sure this guy was thinking – “hell, it’s pretty quiet this way.”

The Onion: Bush: Keep Abstinence in Aids Plan

I love our President in the way late night hosts love – well our President. So much material I think comedic potential should be considered in voting for the President.


The Onion

Bush: Keep Abstinence In AIDS Plan

President Bush wants to keep a contested provision in his global AIDS package in which one-third of all prevention spending goes to abstinence…