To the ass clown in the jetta behind me

Just so you know, if I’m going 80 MPH in the far left lane, I am not going to switch lanes for you so that you can go 95.   I am going faster than I should already and going faster than those to my right.   If you want to sit directly behind the line of traffic I am currently sitting behind, find another way around me.

  • Merujo

    I’m so glad I’m not the only person who uses a blog to communicate with the schmucktards on the road.

    So many dorks behind wheels, so little time…

  • Joe Cotellese

    I just hope you weren’t writing this while driving 85 in the left lane!

  • Spencer

    Just to be clear – I wrote this from the safety of my desk.

  • Dr Zibbs

    I find that having a bag of garbage to toss out the window is always helpful. But I’m urging you – please be safe. Do not take your hands off of the wheel until your knees are safely in place to handle steering.

  • howard

    I’ve always hoped for a way to activate the brake lights (without braking) to scare the living daylights out of tailgaters

  • Spencer

    Yesterday I came up with the best idea – a fart machine that you could attach to the back of your car and activate when you someone was tailing you. Think about how you feel when you’re driving behind a garbage truck.

  • radiocynic

    (Admitting my age here,) my first car was a ’73 Chevy Vega that burned almost as much oil as gasoline. If anyone was tailgating me, all I had to do was gun the engine and a giant cloud of blue oil smoke would envelope the car behind me. Useful while it lasted.

  • Joe Cotellese

    Howard, I had a priest in High School who got in a boat load of trouble for doing exactly as you suggest. This guy had a lot of stories so I’m not sure I believed him but it definitely put the idea in my head.