Choosing between two evils: Superbowl XLII
Earlier today I was reminiscing about the 2004 election between John Kerry and George Bush when I realized that this weekend’s Superbowl is perfectly analogous to that election. Yes we have the New England Patriots, going for their fourth NFL championship in the past 7 years, and the New York Giants hoping to not be embarrassed. Who do you root for? Boston or New York fans? Eli Manning or Tom Brady? Tom Coughlin or Bill Belichick? Might as well be Hitler or Bin Laden.
As much as I hate to do it – I just can’t stand seeing Boston win another championship. Maybe if their fans weren’t such assholes, or if their coach wasn’t so damn smug, or their QB so damn good – I could sit back and enjoy history in the making. As it is, this lifelong Philadelphia Eagle fan, and therefore a lifelong hater of anything having to do with the New York Giants must root for them this weekend.
What else can I do?
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You could just watch “Law & Order”.
I am pretty sure that is what I will be doing.
Actually, you have to root for Brady and the Patriots. Here’s why:
If Eli Manning wins a Super Bowl, the planet will go off it’s axis and slam into Mars.’
Think about it. I can’t think of a more unworthy champion in all of sports.
Alright, Trent Dilfer. But, that’s it.
Fine…Brad Johnson.
But, that’s really it.
Poor thing. Perhaps some Britney videos will clear your head?
No. When I’m down, only the soul-draining wail of Jessica Simpson does it for me. Yeah….that and “Up With People”.
I’m realizing I can’t root for the Giants. Might be a good time to see No Country for Old Men.